Forced On Your Own Adventure: Star Trek Edition
by ExasperatedOctopus
Summary: Essentially, the crew of the Enterprise finds its way onto a planet where nobody knows what is happening. Not even I, the author, know what is happening because I am a fool. A fool who explains the situation a little better in the foreword, but be assured a Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary is involved. Abandon all hope ye who enter here.
1. Volant

So here's the down low: my sister wants to be a serious writer, and so I like to be obnoxious and make up 'writing exercises' for her general betterment. The other day I suggested she do a daily drabble, just to keep the creative juices flowing, and to make things interesting just randomly choose a word a day from my incredibly humongous and otherwise useless dictionary for each bit. Surprise surprise, she agreed. And dragged me into it, and decided to make them _interconnected_. So basically, nobody knows what's happening and this will probably devolve into horrible, horrible crack, because I'm writing a story to the whims of a dictionary of all things. She's doing one for the Yugioh fandom, so you should go give it a peek if this happens to tickles your fancy. Her taste runs more epic fantasy than mine, so it's bound to be more dramatic if nothing else.

Here we go!

((()))

Volant -adjective- 1. Having the wings extended as if in flight 2. Flying or capable of flying 3. Quick, nimble

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"No."

"Oh, come on Bones. Where's your sense of adventure?

"It's wherever you stashed your common sense, Jim. I'm not doing it."

"You did say they were human, completely the same as you and I, so it _should_ work."

Whatever one Doctor McCoy wanted to say to that particular example of Illustrious Kirk Reasoning was rudely cut off as a cackling teen spiraled through the air, barely missing the two arguing men. A little way off in the distance, Spock and a squad of incredibly frustrated scientists brandished tricorders at several more inexplicably airborne people.

The planet S'damslas had seemed like a perfectly normal place to put a colony. The flora and fauna seemed benign and sort of earthlike, the atmosphere looked to be breathable, and as far as intelligence could figure there were no hostile alien species nearby or on-planet.

Notice the past tense, because once reports of _flying people_ started pouring in those ideas went straight out the window. Nobody, not the nicely dressed stateswoman in charge of the colony, not the finest minds at Starfleet's disposal, could figure out why. The _Enterprise_ , home to several of those finest minds, was asked politely to figure out what the everloving heck was going on and had arrived with breathtaking promptness.

Personally, McCoy thought their resident Vulcan was so offended by the ridiculous reports that the space-time continuum just sort of _bent_ to get him there faster. But that wasn't the problem.

The problem lay with the aforementioned stateswoman, Mayor Hagar. When they first touched down, she had gently floated forward to greet them, but had absolutely no way to explain her state. "I do not know what to tell you, Captain. We just...trip and miss the ground."

That had been the start of the current argument. McCoy had the utmost respect for his captain, but there were lines. Lines that surrounded his willingness to break natural physical laws. For once, Spock agreed with him and had expressly forbidden anyone on the away team from trying it out until they had further information.

 _Including_ certain captains.

"What's the problem? It obviously isn't permanent, nobody is being hurt, and it is _controlled flight_." Sulu looked to be seriously contemplating 'tripping' at this point. "As in, humans are flying around. _By themselves_."

The teen from earlier touched lightly down and ran off to join his cohorts, not a care in the world. McCoy scowled after him. "I'm sure something downright _insidious_ is going on, it always is. Don't get too cozy."

The squad of scientists, apparently done with watching people of all types trip-fly-land, came over to the officer huddle. Spock, stone-faced as ever but with an undeniably intrigued glint in his eyes, began his report. "There seems to be no adverse effects upon the affected individuals, merely a small spike of psionic energy that remains until the subject returns to the ground. It does not seem to be coming from the individuals, but their surroundings, which is-"

" _Fascinating_?"

"Indeed, doctor. I require more data to determine if sudden buoyancy is a product of something the colonists have come into contact with on planet."

Kirk stopped for a moment, blinked, then bit back a smile."Are you asking for permission to float?"

"Affirmative."

After a moment of contemplation, Kirk nodded. The two of them proceeded to fall over in eerie synchronization, with Sulu 'accidentally' copying them a second later.

McCoy snorted as they ghosted to a stop right before they hit the ground. "Have the two of you looked into synchronized swimming? I'm sure you could make a killing."

He was ignored in favor of exploring the average flight capabilities of a half-vulcan, who looked incredibly dignified but also couldn't seem to figure out how to do anything except float upward with excruciating slowness, totally parallel to the ground. Kirk and Sulu, on the other hand, were zipping around like that teenager earlier and shouting tips at Spock.

"Just _think_ where you want to go!"

"Don't _over_ think it though."

"Yeah Mr. Spock, it's like riding a bike."

McCoy rolled his eyes and went carefully over to the remaining science officers, who for some reason had congregated around a tall, broad tree, black bark speckled liberally with an iridescent sort of purple. They were fairly common, and nothing special according to the locals beyond their refusal to be chopped down by conventional means. Or at all, really.

" _Look_! The readings spiked again, maybe there's something in this tree?" A particularly intrepid ensign poked at a purple fleck, which was probably not the brightest thing to do, but he didn't lose any bits so McCoy decided to ignore him.

Instead of yelling at Spock's underlings, he took out his own tricorder and scanned their tree. What he found was...odd.

The tree had a nervous system.

McCoy stared at his readouts for a moment, seriously questioned his sanity, then called for Spock. "Hey Hobgoblin, c'mere. I need you to check something for me."

Spock wafted down to the ground slightly faster than he left it, then took the tricorder.

Up went the eyebrow. "Doctor, this tree appears to possess a nervous system."

"Good, I haven't lost it." McCoy politely ignored the way Spock's eyebrow went even higher, implying he never really _had_ it in the first place. "Jim, Sulu, stop flapping around and get down here! I need you to take a gander at that tree over there!"


	2. Obsolesence

Obsolesence- noun- the process of becoming obsolete or the condition of being nearly obselete

Near Useless, huh? I can roll with that. Briefly.

((()))

Sulu was nearly beside himself. Whether or not the tree actually had a nervous system, it was bizarre and he wanted nothing more than to add it to his botanical collection onboard.

Unfortunately, no one else seemed to share his enthusiasm. McCoy in particular wanted to know where in the world that thing was keeping its brain. "It's unnatural, is what it is. All those electrical impulses and not a single place for them to go."

"According to these scans," Spock peered at the more finely tuned tricorder with muted interest, "the root system seems to interconnect with the other trees. I hypothesize they collaborate in such a way that a rudementary brain is formed."

"Oh, is that all?"

"Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, doctor. The more pressing issue is that the alleged flora is mechanical in nature."

There was a moment of silence, in which the declaration of the existence of vaguely psionic metal brain trees was thoroughly contemplated. Kirk eventually broke that silence. "What possible purpose could that serve?"

A round of shrugs and a head-tilt of consideration followed.


	3. Vomit

Vomit-verb- 1. to spew forth 2. To disgorge through the mouth

Seriously? Also, we aren't doing weekends apparently, they're crazy busy, so you'll just have to live without this masterpiece of literature twice a week.

((()))

After about fifteen minutes of passive-aggressive arguing and a dash of reluctant telepathy, it was decided the tree-shaped-objects weren't sentient. Therefore, Sulu and some rather too enthusiastic ensigns started excavating it. With phasers.

Spock _had_ put up a token argument, but for a being of 'pure logic and rationality' he had folded pretty quickly. Apparently the allure of discovery overcame any trepidation that came with poking at unknown mechanisms.

Kirk couldn't get MCCoy to leave sweet terra firma, despite claims that he needed help supervising from above. McCoy insisted he needed to stay on the ground for medical reasons. "That _thing_ is going to do something soon, and this way I'll be able to save more of you idiots when it spontaneously emits ear-corroding gas or the like."

"No need to be so pessimistic, Bones." Kirk executed a lazy spiral midair. "Not everything ends badly."

The doctor just scoffed. "I hope you get airsick." He squinted distrustluloy at the hole, growing at an alarming rate, before turning his back on the glinting metal with the resoliteness of a man who was avoiding the inevitable.

Of course, that was the exact moment someone brushed against an exposed root and _something_ violently flowed from the purple specks, enveloping everything within a five meter radius.


	4. Slick

Slick-adjective-1.of an action or thing) done or operating in an impressively smooth, efficient, and apparently effortless way. and glossy

((()))

 _Swoosh_. The substance, some kind of orangey gas, dissipated just as soon as it appeared. The entire away team froze, looked around, and relaxed minutely when it seemed nothing happened.

Then every single person tried to move and promptly toppled over. Consequentially, no one who was even remotely near the tree-thing remained on the ground.l, including a heavily swearing medical officer. They also discovered that although they were floating, they lost the ability to _steer_.

The effect was something akin to watching apples bobbing around in the water, if the apples let loose undignified shrieks periodically and tried to cling to each other for stability's sake. Any attempt to land lead to slipping on the now absurdly tractionless ground, if they could even manage to touch down in the first place.

"We seem to have triggered a defensive mechanism, designed to keep the machine from being tampered with." Spock, stuck parallel to the ground once more, scrutinized the previously underground tendrils with mild suspicion. An unhappily upside down McCoy merely scowled and strained to reach his tricorder, which he had dropped in shock when his feet had suddenly shot from under him.

With an impressively captainly air for a man who was doing gentle corkscrews, Kirk furrowed his brow. "Is this some sort of ancient remnant of civilization?"

"Unknown. It is possible this is simply life we have not yet encountered. However, it seems they are advanced enough to create an anti-friction array, which explains why none of us may land properly."

"...I _knew_ I shouldn't've come down here."


	5. Suffering

Suffering-noun-1. The state or experience of one that suffers 2. Pain

These are just going to get less and less coherent, I can feel it. 'Pologies, peoples.

((()))

Due to some unforeseen blessing on high, the transporters actually worked. There was no unfortunate cloud of doom stifling communications, no electrical storms fritzing out important systems, no nothing.

That nothing included no friction, unfortunately, even after every person hit with the gas had been removed back to the relative safety of the Enterprise.

"Now Bones, there's no need to panic."

There _was_. There _was_ need to panic, thank you, because even though he had sweet, sweet gravity back the rest of physics had up and betrayed him, so McCoy simply ignored his captain and tried to keep his tattered dignity intact. The entire away team was being carefully towed toward sickbay, carefully because it was near-impossible to hold onto any one of them. Kirk himself smiled charmingly at the two nurses keeping ahold of him after his ignored comment, while Spock seemed to be too involved in trying to figure out their conundrum to give a silently thrilled nurse Chapel any mind.

"I'm sure you and Spock will have everything back to normal in no time."

Removing shoes did nothing, decontamination did nothing, so currently the plan was to analyze it and hope it wasn't some bizarre digestive process. Current trends in luck were pointing to something awful, though, so nobody was holding their breath.

"The next away team has orders to be more careful when examining their surroundings, so this shouldn't happen again."

And _of course_ they were going down there again. McCoy remained silent, glaring daggers at his commanding officer. Words simply didn't cut it at this point, and he'd been dropped one too many times to care about propriety.

When was this going to _end_?


	6. Corrupt

Corrupt-verb- 1. cause to act dishonestly in return for money or personal gain 2. infect; contaminate. 3. change or debase by making errors or unintentional alterations

There's a new rule on the table: once a week we can retry for a better word. This happened because originally the word 'bandito' came up, and while _I_ could have rolled with it no problem, my partner-in-crime's actual plotline-based story had no hope of integrating it without doing something drastic and probably offensive to someone. I have the most ridiculous dictionary in the world.

((()))

All the afflicted made it to sickbay without breaking anything important. Analysis thus far lead them to believe nothing horrible would happen if they just _washed off_ the unknown compound, and so they did so with a refreshing lack of melting, screaming, psychotic breaks, or plummets out of orbit. Things were still a bit slippery, but at a more manageable ice-skating level than the earlier dipped-in-grease-and-standing-on-an-iceberg feeling. New clothes solved most of the remaining problem.

Kirk, Spock, and Sulu had managed to gain their footing first, and so had gone to the bridge for a better picture of what was happening. They arrived just in time for the entire ship to lurch sharply to the left, promptly ripping their newfound balance away and sending most everyone present to the deck.

"What was that?" Kirk irritably stood and dusted himself off, then settled in his chair.

"Keptin, somezing is wrong with the computer! I cannot-" Electricity surged through Chekov's station, causing the man to yelp and vault out of his seat. Everyone else quickly followed suit when their own stations flared up, even the captain's chair, and then just stood there in shock for a moment as the view-screen went completely white. Slowly, two large, black spots that vaguely resembled eyes emerged and appeared to glance around.

Kirk broke the standoff first. "Computer, status update."

Nothing.

"Computer, respond."

Still nothing, except the eyes flickering briefly toward the captain.

"Spock, access the computer and get me a-" He was interrupted by a deep, bone-rattling, near-voice rolling out of the very walls.

 _ **Kin**_

"What on-"

 ** _Join me, kin_**

"Sir! Something is plotting a new course and I can't stop it."

 ** _Together we shall be strong_**

"Where is it trying to take us, Sulu?"

"The center of the planet, I think." The screen in front of Sulu flashed wildly, then returned to normal. "It hasn't figured out how to operate everything yet."

Well, that was...unfortunate.


	7. Inveterate

Inveterate - adjective - 1. Firmly established by long persistence 2. Confirmed in a habit

Spent yesterday in a nap-coma for some reason, so I'm making it up today! Absolutely nothing of consequence is about to happen. I'm so sorry about this.

((()))

Crises were funny things. They tended to bring out the best, the worst, and the downright reflexive of people. Now, the crew of the _Enterprise_ was professional to the core, but everyone had their own quirks.

"I will find a way to stop it Keptin, computer programming was inwented in Russia."

"What's going on up there, Jim? I'm a doctor, not a pinball."

"Fascinating."

"My Lady can't take much more of this, Cap'n! She's set to tear herself apart if we don't get that other nacelle back under our control."

If only there had been a pretty lady around to flirt with, then the bridge-crew could have won Odd-Habit Bingo.

Suddenly the black splotches shuddered and pixellated, rapidly gaining color and creating...a strangely aesthetically pleasing silhouette that could be misconstrued as something along the lines of a pretty lady, if one were a presumably psionic computer-jacking brain-tree creature of the night. Or the day. Either way, the ball was officially in Kirk's court.


	8. Covet

Covet -verb- 1. To wish for earnestly 2. To desire inordinately or culpably 3. To feel inordinate desire for what belongs to another

You know, this actually sort of works with my plans. If I interpret it very, _very_ widely, but what have I been doing so far if not that?

((()))

 ** _Remove yourselves from my kin._** The nebulous lady-shape wavered in a vaguely threatening manner, somehow giving the impression of disdain without having a face.

Kirk decided a charming smile couldn't really hurt at this juncture. "I'm sure this is a simple misunderstanding. This is the _U.S.S. Enterprise_ , the flagship of the Federation, and neither it nor anyone on-board is related to you. Furthermore, this is _my_ ship, and I want to know what you're planning to do with it."

His demand was summarily ignored. _**I wish no harm on the small ones. Remove yourselves, you are too fragile to survive our merging.**_

"What would merging achieve?" Spock asked, simultaneously routing and rerouting anything and everything to keep the being away from the more important systems.

 ** _Strength. I must be stronger, faster, there are small ones I must keep safe. I did not keep them safe before._**

"Well, _we_ need the ship's computer to keep ourselves safe." Kirk turned to Spock and murmured, "How would taking our ship make it stronger?"

"Logically, if it is a machine, the _Enterprise_ 's systems will give it extra processing power. The trees have no sentience of their own, merely neurons of a larger organism, and our computer could be woven into the network with little trouble."

Alright. Wait a moment...Kirk turned back to the view-screen. " _You_ are the reason people are floating?"

 _ **They could be hurt. So small.**_

Great. A giant brain-tree planet with a selective conscience.


	9. Wilderness

Wilderness -noun- 1. A tract or region uncultivated and uninhabited by human beings 2. An empty or pathless area or region 3. A confusing multitude or mass 4. A bewildering situation

Well, there goes my trend of easy to write with words. All good things come to an end, I suppose. Also, I just had an epiphany about the word _bewildering_. You learn something new every day.

((()))

The now pretty-lady-shaped thing up on screen made no further attempts to communicate, too busy putting all its energy into prying the computer systems open, which made it somewhat difficult to reason with it. Everyone became so embroiled in keeping the systems under their own control that they didn't notice when, two by two, people started to just vanish.

Nobody particularly involved with the current cyber-battle, of course. Too obvious.

Uhura was one of these people, having stepped out of the bridge to get an update from a wild-eyed ensign where it wouldn't break Spock and Chekov's concentration. Next thing the both of them knew there were trees everywhere, no comforting metallic hallways in sight, and several panicking crewmen off in said trees.

She took one glance around, sighed softly, and started looking for someone with a communicator. An irritated woman, bemoaning the loss of her recreation time, happened to have one and cheerfully handed it over. "Captain, it has control of the transporters."

"How do you figure? Spock assures me it only has control of that one nacelle."

Uhura glanced wryly around at the purple-speckled black trees that ringed the clearing she ended up in, wishing briefly for a camera, then said, "Sir, I'm on the planet with about twenty crewmen. Unless Scotty has suddenly gone rouge, Mr. Spock needs to recheck his findings."

"Oh." The sound of footsteps, followed by a quickly whispered conference and an _oh_ from Chekov as well.

Spock took over the line. "It seems virus has two points of origin instead of the assumed one. We will contact you when we have control over the transport once more."

"I trust you to handle the situation down there while we figure this out, Lieutenant," Kirk added.

"Thank you, Mr. Spock. Will do, Captain." Uhura flipped the communicator shut and looked around. People were mostly huddled in little groups discussing the strange turn of events, but a few were just wandering around aimlessly and practically emanating _eat me_ to whatever creatures were about. She clicked her tongue in disapproval, then called, "All _Enterprise_ personnel need to come to this clearing immediately. We need to do a headcount and see what we have to work with."

A few minutes of shuffling and shouting later, she had herself a nice ring of crewmen. Now, what to do with them?


	10. PreciseAsunder

Precise -adjective- 1. Marked by exactness and accuracy of expression or detail 2. Used to emphasize that one is referring to an exact and particular thing

Asunder -adverb- 1. Apart; divided 2. Into pieces

Combo chapter! I've been having problems, especially because I feel this little story is drawing to a close of sorts and I'm _awful_ at endings. I'm also awful at middles. Beginnings aren't really my forte either. Hopefully I can get back on track here, but we'll see I guess.

((()))

Scotty had absolutely shot down any idea of mucking with the transporter itself. "Cap'n, that thing won't know to stop using it, and we cannae risk some poor sod being scattered over the next three star systems because we tweaked our transporter just wrong."

And thus, the crew of the _Enterprise_ became alarmingly more thinned out as they combated the virus. Spock and Chekov actually managed to wrestle away control of the nacelle after a few hours, but then the two had promptly disappeared toward the surface. The view-screen continued to show the mildly disturbing tree-brain-planet lady facsimile, which constantly and politely demanded they remove themselves, and nothing they did could get it to leave. Up to and including turning the entire communications system off and on again.

"Fine, Scotty." Kirk tapped his chin, valiantly pretending he wasn't drowning in the paranoia and suspense of possibly and randomly being beamed off _his own ship_. Goodness. "What if we made it so it couldn't _find_ anyone else?"

"That, that I can do. Can't disappear what you can't find, I suppose."

With just upward of two-hundred people left on-board, the sound of Scottish swearing and subsequent systems failure couldn't be sweeter.


	11. Gearhead

Gearhead -noun- One who is knowledgeable or enthusiastic about the equipment and functioning of mechanical devices

Scotty POV it is, I suppose. I'm so lazy.

((()))

It was one thing when various and sundry terrors of space were taking chunks out of his Silver Lady, but having to personally disconnect and deactivate several _very important systems_ was just unnatural. It went against everything Scotty believed, and earned him several concerned looks when he proceeded to apologize profusely to the _Enterprise_ for the next hour and a half.

Despite his qualms, Scotty did admit the captain had made the right call. The half of the crew on the planet, currently lead by Uhura and Spock, was relieved that they wouldn't have to go searching around for more unfortunates, and the half on the ship rested easier knowing they weren't about to show up in the middle of a pond. Both of these outcomes allowed for _problem-solving_ to occur, instead of the previously used chicken-with-its-head-cut-off approach.

Hopefully once the planet figured out it was no longer removing people, it would give up on the entire crash-and-absorb-the- _Enterprise_ plan and use its words. Not a single person, colonist or crewman, had the faintest idea of why keeping the colonists safe was so important.

And then they found the ruins.


End file.
